Wednesday, July 30, 2014

"Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking..."

"A dangerous pastime."
"I know..."

Well, we are down to the final pre-wedding countdown (38 days to go!) and it is crunch time for decision making and final plans. To say it has been a stressful few weeks would be an understatement but luckily I've got a few things to keep my sanity in check -- God, Brent, my family, crossfit (and/or exercising 4-5 days a week). 

The funny thing about decision making is it requires a lot of thinking... "why it's more than I can bear." ("More beer?" "what for? nothing helps.") I've been listening to way too much Disney Beauty and the Beast music lately. Mostly the "Gaston" songs. I feel like I am having Disney World withdrawals so I do and do not apologize for my over abundance of Disney references and/or songs, pictures, etc. 

Anyway, we were on the topic of decision making and thinking. So as you may or may not know, when you are getting married to your fiance who lives (insert number here) miles away in a little over a month, the conversation of "where are we going to live?"comes about pretty frequently. The most difficult thing about these decisions is that ultimately, they are not ours to make. Sometimes, we have to use faith and logic to see where our path is being directed. 

I've been reading a lot of devotionals lately and every time I open it up it somehow pertains to decision making and trusting and reliance... all things I need to be better at... especially now. So, I can do all the thinking I want, but the thinking will be nothing unless it involves praying. That's what I am being taught right now... trust and reliance. I need to trust in God's plan and rely on Him especially in the times when I want to forge my own path (because I'm human and sometimes my heart and mind aren't always in the right place). 

What I've come to understand from experiences in the past couple years is that no matter what my plan has been, when that plan did not come to fruition, something even better happened in my life. I need to remember that when I'm trying to walk on my own. When I (we) trust, I (we) find joy because I (we) know that God's plan may have ups and downs (zig-zags or circles) in our lives and our plans, but it will always cause us to rely on Him, to trust in Him, and to understand that He is always guiding us to what is best and that we cannot even begin to imagine how great His plans are for us.

One of the things I am looking forward to most about marriage is growing in a relationship with another person that will teach me how to love and trust better every single day. I cannot wait for the laughter, the tears, the moments, and the memories that marriage will bring. Most of I am looking forward to the fact that we will have been married for two months before this gem (Mockingjay Part 1) comes out in theaters on November 21, 2014. This way I already have someone to go to the midnight showing with me!

I have already partially prepared for the midnight showing of this and it may be proceeded with a re-reading of all the books and a re-watching of the first two movies. Although, I may be disappointed if I re-read the books so close to the movie and then realize they are missing something (like the Harry Potter series and Peeves... so sad). Anyway, I've got a hunger games training shirt, practiced my hair braiding, and of course mastered my archery skills. These have all been acquired over a few years so I may need a wardrobe upgrade. I probably also need to redefine "mastered" since in this case it means tried once and got the arrow to release from the long bow over two years ago... good thing I don't need those skills to watch a movie. All I need is my future husband, a giant cup of coffee (since it will be way past my bedtime), and to find my mockingjay pin (which is around here somewhere).

I can't wait to be married and I know that through all the craziness, the thinking, the decisions, and the journey of continuously learning to trust more it is going to be a fantastic, wonderful, incredible, amazing ride. Plus I'm marrying one of the best men I know! Lucky lucky lucky me.

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