"and I'll keep wondering, and wondering, and wondering, and wondering... when will my life begin?"
Lately, Disney songs have been on repeat in my head. Specifically music from Tangled and Frozen. I don't think any day can be considered a bad one when Disney lyrics are playing in your mind. Isn't it funny how sometimes the songs that become our favorites resonate with our hearts and minds? Any emotion we could ever feel has a song that portrays that feeling and it becomes a part of us. That's how it is for me at least. Through the ages if 14-17, I was convinced Taylor Swift could be my best friend. Even though I didn't own a guitar, she knew that angst I felt at being rejected by a crush. If I had a guitar, the teardrops would have fallen on that. As the young, naive girl I was, she helped me see that I am beautiful, and that you are beautiful, and "someday we were really going to be someone." It was easy to relate to her love of country music and sparkly dresses, her portrayal of a magical "love story", and her understanding that there was that person who was "just another picture to burn."
This isn't meant to be a Taylor Swift post at all actually. I mostly stopped listening to her music once she became more pop and less country. There was one song ("Begin Again"), though, that resonated with me when I was going through a heartbreak that turned into the most wonderful blessing. It portrayed what I was going through at the time. It gave me hope to a new possibility of love. It taught me that there is going to be that person who loves us for everything we are and who shows us that love every single day. In the song she has a line stating "I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did." I don't know what Taylor Swift intended, but I know what I heard. Be yourself and find that person who is going to love you for who that is. Don't compromise. Love is joyful and should be full of life and laughter. I am so blessed to have found that. When I thought I was going through the worst heartbreak, I was given a blessing greater than anything I could have possibly asked for -- I got to know my future husband. He teaches me what love is every single day and he thinks I'm funny (well I think I'm funny, but I'm sure he would agree). Life is wonderful that way. Our pain often leads us to greater joy later on in the journey. Sometimes, our trials and our tribulations, our heartbreaks or our failures are God's way of saying "I have something better for you." We have to be patient and trusting in those times and we have to be faithful because God will never fail us. I have proof that He knows what He is doing because I get to marry Brent in September.
Since God is faithful and He has a plan, why do we (me, I, me, me, me... pointing to myself on this one) have doubts or times where we don't trust Him? Why do we (again me) hope to reach out for tomorrow when we haven't finished what we are tasked with today? Why are there times when we wonder "when will my life begin?"
When I was younger, all I wanted to be when I grew up was everything. I practiced my autograph (and my soccer) from the ages of 8 until 13 because I was going to be the next Mia Hamm. I was going to be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a writer, a pastry chef, an entrepreneur, and an actress. I was going to speak out against injustices such as abortion. I wanted to do everything and part of me still does. Maybe I want to be all those things because one day I can. Mechanical engineer by day, writer (blogger), pastry chef (frozen-meal cooker), and doctor (can find the band-aids and tylenol) by night. Maybe I want to be all these things because I like learning and knowing. Knowledge is valuable and irreplaceable. Life is valuable and worth living. I'm looking forward to the next stages of life. I'm excited to get married in September, but I have to remember to enjoy now: the monthly or bi-monthly travel, the cake tastings, the excitement of saying hello and the pain of saying good-bye. Life is happening and if we (I) just look to tomorrow how will I celebrate the blessings of today?
I watched one of my favorite shows today -- Nashville. The last song they played was called "A Life That's Good". The first bit of it goes like this "Sitting here tonight, by the fire light, it reminds me I already have more than I should. I don't need fame, no one to know my name. At the end of the day, Lord I pray "I have a life that's good." I think it is a good reminder that we (you and me) have a life that's good and we should praise the Lord for that life every morning and every night. We only have this one and we should live it with love in our hearts and trust in all situations that God knows what He is doing and that His plans for us are always better than any we could plan for ourselves.